


Comfort Me (Talk All Night)

by sassysavagesanha (RedJusticeLibra)



Category: ASTRO (Band)
Genre: Comfort, Cuddles, Forgive Me, I hope, I made one of the happiest little beans sad, I'm Sorry, I'm making that a tag, Light Angst, M/M, Nightmares, Sanha's baby blanket, Self-Doubt, it was supposed to be happy, the end is cute, why did I make this sad?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-05
Updated: 2017-04-05
Packaged: 2018-10-05 20:24:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10316261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedJusticeLibra/pseuds/sassysavagesanha
Summary: Sanha has a nightmare and a moment of doubt. Minhyuk comforts him.





	

**Author's Note:**

> (Why am I incapable of writing them in an established relationship?)
> 
> This idea popped into my head and wouldn't leave me alone, so here you go.
> 
> I really hope this isn't too ooc, but my inspiration ran away with me.
> 
> Oh and I didn't proof read becasue I am lazy. Please let me know if you spot any glaring typos.
> 
> Enjoy!

The darkness is overwhelming, pressing down on him from all sides, making it hard to breathe. The boy struggles forward, towards what he isn’t sure, all he knows that he needs to move. Panic starts to form as he drags his heavy body forward. Time seems non existent, a few steps somehow feeling like hours and seconds simultaneously. How long he walks (Runs? Crawls?) is unknown; the boy can’t even be sure that he is moving.

After an eternity of moving forward there is a change in the oppressive atmosphere; a small light can be seen in the distance and he increases his pace. As he nears the mysterious light, he can make out the blurry silhouettes of other people. The boy’s heart races at the thought of companionship and he breaks into a sprint.

He makes it all of two steps before the darkness swoops down on him and, suddenly, it is as if he is running through a sea of molasses. The light never seems to get closer but it doesn’t get further away either. He tries to call out to the people for help, but no sound comes out, his voice having been stolen by the dark.

Slowly the people he is trying so desperately to reach (his friends, he remembers this now) turn their backs on him and begin to walk away. Increasing his struggles he pulls against the dark in an effort to avoid being left behind, but nothing changes. For as much as he struggles the darkness presses down with a force double his own.

Just as his friends ( _family_ , his mind tells him) are almost out of sight, the darkness lifts and the boy stumbles forward, landing on his hands. Not one to waste time, he immediately gets to his feet and runs after his brothers.

Five steps.

Four steps.

Three steps.

Two steps.

One step.

His hand reaches out to grab the shirt of the one closest to him but he never feels the soft fabric in his hand. Instead the boy feels a cold wind rush past him as the darkness returns to drag him down the pit that has opened beneath him. His stomach drops and suddenly he’s falling.

The light fades from his sight and darkness is all he knows.

* * *

Sanha bolts awake, panting and covered in sweat. The memory of his nightmare is still fresh in his mind as he tries to calm his rapidly beating heart. However, no matter how hard he tries he can't stop his shaking hands or calm his heart.

He thinks about his dream, the oppressive dark that seemed to permeate every part of it, the pointless running, the endless pit, and perhaps worst of all, the other members' indifference and abandonment. Seeing them turn their backs on him filled home with an emotion he can't quite explain. As much as he hates to admit it, Sanha has always felt like the weakest member of Astro.

He remembers the interview where he was asked who he though was the most popular member, but the question was switched around to least popular. Of course he said himself. After all why would he be the favorite, when the others were so much better?

Not only can Myungjun and Moonbin sing better than him, but their outgoing personalities always attract attention during interviews. Not to mention Jinwoo and Minhyuk’s rapping, something he never could learn how to do, is attracting attention. Sanha knows that there is no way he will ever be able to match the dance line for skill, but Dongmin also falls into the same category. However, Dongmin is smart, kind, and beautiful, so of course fans love him, and he is offered chances to promote the group on his own.

Then there’s him. Tall, lanky, awkward him. Adequate sing voice and guitar skill seem to be about all he had to offer. He can’t even speak well, so he keeps quiet during interviews, unless necessary. Sanha curls himself into a ball and whimpers. Sometimes he wonders what he’s doing here. Clearly they would be better off without him.

Cold shivers rack his body and he finds himself reaching blindly for the baby blanket at the bottom of his bed. Sanha knows it's childish, but there is something comforting about the soft weight of the small blanket on his shoulders. And after all, isn’t that his role? The childish maknae who doesn’t know when to grow up.

The darkness around him does nothing to soothe his feelings of inadequacy, instead, it only reminds him of his terrible dream. Rationality tries to take over, and Sanha attempts to ground himself by listening to Myungjun's snores. He tries to remind himself that he is safe in the dorm, surrounded by people who love him and would never leave him, but a nightmare is a difficult thing to be rid of.

His mind constantly wanders back to the image of the members leaving him behind. And he wonders, just for a minute, if they truly want him there. He knows he can be annoying, loud and immature, a distraction from their work. Cringy aegyo has become his staple, even though he knows it embarasses the others. Sometimes he thinks that if it weren’t for his age, they could have debuted with a manlier concept, something the rest of Astro would have been thrilled about.

Finally he can no longer stay seated in the oppressive dark and makes his way to the kitchen in the hopes that some water and light will help him relax and restore his confidence (if there was any left to restore anymore).

The blanket wrapped around his shoulders is a small comfort against the dark thoughts flowing through his mind. Memories of darkness and betrayal persist, and he nearly runs the last few step out the door into the kitchen, lest the darkness reach out and drag him away again.

His heart finally begins to slow as he flicks on the kitchen light. He glances suspiciously at the darkness in the living room threatening his small sanctuary of light. The darkness reaches out slowly, and Sanha stands transfixed, watching it slowly creep closer to him.

Sanha takes a deep breath and shakes his head to dispel the image his hyper active mind is creating. Logically, he knows that the darkness can’t hurt him, but that doesn’t stop it from scaring him. He reaches for a glass and suddenly there is a hand on his shoulder. The darkness had come for him! He shrieks and quickly turns around to ward off the attack.

"Sanha?"

Minhyuk stands behind him, eyes half closed, pajamas rumpled, and hair out of place. Sanha can’t helpt the shot of jealousy that run through him. How can someone be this cute without even trying? Being cute is one of the few things that he is moderately good at, and he has to work at it. It’s not fair. Minhyuk is already perfect at everything.

“Minhyuk-hyung you scared me!” Sanha tries to keep his voice steady, but it comes out as a raspy whisper instead.

“Hey, are you okay? What are you doing up so late?”

Drawing his blanket tighter around his shoulders, Sanha turns his eyes towards the floor. He’s trying to send the message that he doesn’t want to talk, but Minhyuk ignores it. Concern overrides the sleepiness on Minhyuk’s face. A small gasp escapes Sanha’s lips when he feels Minhyuk’s hands gently lift his head. He is startled to find how soft they are.

“Sanha? What’s wrong?” It’s been so long since someone had looked him with such sincere concern that Sanha almost breaks and spills everything. He blinks back the tears that have been threatening to spill from his bloodshot eyes all night. His heavy breathing and distressed posture cause Minhyuk to let go of his face and pull him into a hug.

Now, Astro is a very touchy group of people, so Sanha is no stranger to hugs, but there is something different about this one. He can’t quite pinpoint what it is, but he thinks it may have to do with love and comfort. Whatever it is, it, combined with Minhyuk’s soft words and touches manages to break the last of Sanha’s resolve.

He lets out a little sob into Minhyuk’s shoulder, and suddenly, he can’t stop. His legs are shaking with his cries and Minhyuk leads him to the living to sit on the couch. Soft cushions offer relief to his unsteady legs and Sanha finds himself collapsing onto Minhyuk and the soft comfort of his arms.

Sanha vaguely notices that Minhyuk has grown more anxious and concerned, but he can’t bring himself to care. He does, however, notice and care about what Minhyuk says next.

“Maybe I should get Jinwoo-hyung?” It’s muttered more as a question to himself than to Sanha, but Sanha chooses to answer it anyway. Shaking his head he tries to make is displeasure known to Minhyuk. It’s bad enough that his closest hyung is seeing him like this, the last thing he needs is for the leader to see how pathetic he has become. He knows that with just one look, Jinwoo will realize his worthlessness and kick him out of the group. Sanha might know he's useless, but that doesn’t mean he can’t try to hide it. For as much as he believes the others dislike him, he loves them ten times more and would do anything to stay with therm longer.

“Please don’t tell.” Minhyuk looks at him with confusion, but after looking at his pleading eyes, decides to address it later. He tightens his grip on Sanha and lets him finish crying himself out.

Once the tears are finally gone, Sanha pulls himself from the warm embrace. Someone such as him doesn’t deserve the comfort of one better than him.

“Will you tell me what’s wrong now, Sanha? Sanha?” Ignoring Minhyuk’s attempt to start a conversation, Sanha picks at a loose thread on his blanket.

"Sanha, please. Whatever this is it's important and you can't ignore it." Sanha continues to ignore him.

“Come on. What’s eating you?” Running out of ideas, Minhyuk begins to guess what was bothering him. “Are you sick? Hurt? Dying?” Suddenly he gets quiet. “Did your girlfriend leave you?” The statement is meant to lighten the oppressive atmosphere, but Sanha still stays silent.

Minhyuk runs his hands through his hair and sighs at the lack of response."Well if you won't tell me, then I guess I will have to get Jinwoo." Those words catch Sanha’s attention.

"Please, Minhyuk-hyung, don't." He can only imagine how childish he looks, clinging to a blanket and asking not to be told on. Sanha grips his blanket tighter.

"Then you need to tell me what's wrong." The stern tone of his voice is undercut by concern. It takes a minutes for Sanha to gather up his courage but finally, avoiding eye contact, he speaks what's on his mind.

"I had a nightmare." Well, not everything that was on his mind.

"There, that wasn't so hard now was it?" Sanha knows Minhyuk means to sound comforting, but the words come out patronizing instead. "Want to tell me what it was about?”

“Not really…” Sanha’s voice is soft as he curls up into an impossibly small ball for a person of his size. Minhyuk doesn’t know how to respond and he sits awkwardly next to Sanha.

Meanwhile Sanha contemplates his options. On one hand, it would be nice to let Minhyuk know what he was thinking, burdens always felt lighter when shared, but on the other hand, he is afraid of what his hyung will say. He doesn’t want face the rejection he knows is coming. Sanha weighs the pros and cons of each option, running his mind in circles, before he comes to the conclusion that he is tired.

Tired of all the doubt, the uncertainty, the negative thought running through his head, the fear, the mistrust, all of it. He’s sick and tired of the weight of it all and he no longer cares what will happen afterwards, he just needs to speak. Abruptly the need to say something rises in him and he finds himself breaking the silence before he can have second thoughts.

“You left me.” Minhyuk looks up, startled and slightly confused.

“What?”

“In the nightmare.” Sanha clarifies. “It was dark and I couldn’t reach you and everyone left me.” Once he started, he finds he can’t stop. “I tried to call out to you, but you didn’t hear me. Didn’t even turn around. I was this close” He demonstrates his point, leaving a small space between his fingers. “But I fell. It was so dark and long, I didn’t know what was happening. All I knew was you left me, and I was alone.” He resumes picking at the loose thread as he waits for the response.

“Sanha? You know we would never leave you, right? If you ever need me I’ll always be there. I’m sure any of the hyungs would say the same.” Minhyuk’s hand reaches over to grab Sanha’s as his brow furrows with worry.

Teeth marks are slowly appearing where Sanha bites down on his lip, each word out of Minhyuk’s mouth increasing the pressure. He wants to believe Minhyuk, he really does, but he can’t fully convince himself that he is being sincere.

“But you have every reason not to.” The muttered words come out louder than Sanha means them too. He internally winces hoping Minhyuk didn’t hear.

Minhyuk sounds startled. “What do you mean?” Apparently Sanha couldn’t be so lucky. Staying silent seems to the best option so that is what he chooses to do. However, as is the trend of the night, Minhyuk refuses to leave well enough alone. “Sanha, tell me what you meant.” The possible implications of Sanha’s words leave Minhyuk scrambling for answers.

Looking and the blatant worry on his hyung’s face, makes Sanha feel guilty. He never meant for him to hear. This is just another thing he screwed up. The longer he goes without answering, the more he feels that he owes Minhyuk an answer. Sanha takes a deep breath.

“I meant I’m the weakest link, if anyone is going to get left behind, it would be me.” Rather than clarifying the situation, Sanha’s words only serve to make Minhyuk more confused.

“The weakest- Sanha what are you talking about?” Sanha knew this was a bad idea. He never should have opened his mouth.

“It's just, you’re all so much more talented than I am. Look at Myungjun-hyung, his voice is so stable and smooth, I can’t get through a song without my voice cracking. And Moonbin-hyung, not only can he sing really well, he can do it while dancing. Then there’s Jinwoo-hyung, he can rap and he’s the leader, so obviously he’s talented.” He didn’t notice, but he voice was steadily rising as he ranted, soon he would wake the others, but Sanha didn’t care.

“Dongmin might not dance the best but he’s gorgeous and gets to go on talk shows all the time. I can’t even speak up during an interview, let alone host a music show!” Releasing all his pent up emotions feels cathartic and Sanha finds he can’t care.

“And you! You are a triple threat! You’re perfect at everything! How can I compare you all. I’m awkward and lanky and I don’t know how to act mature. I’m trying to get through school, but I’m too stupid to-”

“You’re not stupid.” Minhyuk has heard enough, that is clear enough from the expression on his face and his stern tone.

“But-” Sanha is cut off again.

“But nothing. Listen to me Sanha, none of us think that way about you. In fact, we think just the opposite.” He takes deep breath, preparing to reverse what appears to be months of self doubt. “We are so proud of everything you’ve done. You shouldn’t compare yourself to us. Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses.” Sanha attempts to interrupt, but Minhyuk silences him with a raised hand.

“Shut up and listen for a moment. Of course Myungjun-hyung’s voice is more stable, he’s older and it has had time to even out. You’re still finishing puberty. Give it a few years and I’m sure you’ll sound just as amazing, maybe even better if your audition is anything to judge by.”

“And Moonbin has been a trainee for seven years now, if he isn’t good at singing and dancing then he shouldn’t be here. You’ve only done a fraction of that time, you’ll get there. Look at how much improvement Dongmin-hyung has made. If the dance black hole can do that,” Sanha snorts at his description. “then there is no way you won’t master dancing soon.”

“You say Jinwoo-hyung is the leader because he is responsible, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t do stupid things sometimes. You’re still a kid, you can do stupid things and not be criticized. Meanwhile, when Jinwoo-hyung does it he looks like an idiot. An idiot ant-eater” The jab at the lead manages to coax out a small smile on Sanha’s face, his first of the night since waking up from the nightmare.

“Dongmin-hyung is pretty. Sure there are a lot of people that agree with that statement, but have you ever heard the saying ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I’m sure that to some fans out there you are the epitome of beauty.” Minhyuk is reminded of how young Sanha still is since the mere mention of someone finding him attractive still makes him blush like a love struck middle schooler.

“As for myself, sure I can do all those things, but so can you, except perhaps rap.” Melancholy returns to Sanha’s face. “You know, I have no idea how to play the guitar. Every time I hear you play I’m mystified that someone can take an inanimate piece of wood and make something beautiful out of it. I-”

“The strings make the sound.”

“Huh?”

“The vibrations from the strings make the sounds, not the wood.”

Minhyuk chuckles to himself. “I suppose it does.” He turns to look Sanha in the eye once more, holding his stare to drive home his point. “Anyway, what I was trying to get at before I was so rudely interrupted, was that we have different talents. No one person will be good at everything. Some of us can rap others can make sounds out of strings tied to a piece of wood.” The corners of Sanha’s lips quirk up at the corrected statement. “It’s only going to hurt you to try to achieve a perfection that can never be reached.” He pauses a moment to give Sanha a chance to speak, but he chooses to remain silent.

“You understand me, right Sanha?” Nodding in response, Sanha tries to process everything that has been said to him. All Minhyuk’s reasoning makes sense, and he said it in such a sincere way that Sanha is hard pressed to disbelieve anything he said. However, there is still that small, dark bit of doubt lingering in the back of his mind.

There is a soft sigh, and then the silence is broken. “Oh, come here.” Minhyuk reaches his arms around Sanha and pulls him in for another hug. At first Sanha is stiff and awkward, but after a few minutes in his hyung’s warm embrace, he melts into his grip and the darkness in his mind fades.

They sit like this for awhile, Sanha wrapped up in his blanket and snuggled up to Minhyuk’s side, and Minhyuk occasionally running his hand through Sanha’s hair. The maknae feels safe and warm for what feels like the first time in forever. He feels loved and cared for, and that in of itself, makes the nightmare worth it.

Minhyuk slowly runs his fingers through Sanha’s soft hair again, and whispers “You know we are going to have a longer talk about this in the morning with the hyungs, don’t you?” The only response is a soft hum from Sanha. He is far too tired and comfortable to think about what will happen in the morning. His head snuggles in closer to Minhyuk’s neck and he knows that everything will be alright, as long as his hyung is there to support him. Sanha begins falls into a blissfully dreamless sleep, safe in Minhyuk’s warm embrace, nightmare long forgotten and confidence restored.

He is almost asleep, on the brink of falling into the siren’s call, but not so far gone that doesn’t feel the soft kiss Minhyuk places on his forehead. Sanha smiles to himself as the world fades away.

**Author's Note:**

> (Jinjin totally took blackmail pictures in the morning)
> 
> Can you believe that when originally wrote this, there was way more fluff and a lot less angst. Idk how that happened. I just woke up one morning, got hit over the head by my muse and rewrote almost all of this. It helped me get past my writer's block though, so I guess I'm thankful? 
> 
> Feel free to hit me up on my tumblr @sassysavagesanha


End file.
